10 Stupid “Guy Codes” Guys Need To Stop Following

10 Stupid “Guy Codes”
Guys Need To Stop
Following

Who made this 10 stupid guy
codes?
Let me begin by saying that prior
to the movie “How I Met Your
Mother” the term “Bro or Guy
Code” first made an impression
when movie character Micheal
Scott used it in The Benihana
Christmas episode of the
American comedy television
series The Office.
So how did this term find it’s
way through pop culture?! And
there are some rules that are
incredulous while others are just
plain ridiculous.
The Bro Code is a book written
that covers over 150 rules written
in articles of what “guys” should
or shouldn’t do. The book was
penned by Barney Stinson and also
credited with Kuhn. Greig Dymond
of CBC.ca “The Goat”calls the
book, “a tongue-in-cheek guide to
etiquette for horn-dog dudes.”
Funny how all the rules are
made to inflate the already over-
inflated ego of the male specie. I
love it though.
Here are some of the 10
stupid guy codes you have ever
heard or will ever hear of; and
trust me, there are over 200 of
this ridiculous rules.
Although some of the rules are
quite understandable, some are
just plain stupid. Here’s my
amendment. (Bro equals Guy).

1) A BRO MUST ACCEPT ANY AND ALL
“MANHOOD TESTING” –
Really, so to prove you are really a man,
if your friends say stick your dick into a
fire as a test, you should agree just
because some stupid, made-up rule
approves?!
AMENDMENT – Unless the test will pay
you in cash or kind, you are free to
reject, turn down or refuse any kind of
stupid “manhood testing”. A real man
doesn’t need to prove anything to
anyone, only boys try to prove shit.

2) BROS DO NOT SHARE A DRINK OR
POPCORN AT THE CINEMA –
What?!! Says who?!! But you can share
indoors?! So hypocritical. Before a guy
accepts this rule, he should hunt down
those who made this rule and inquire if
they have ever been to the movies,
broke. When you’re broke, as a guy, you
don’t care who buys. If you are filling the
bill and you don’t have enough for two,
you get one and share with your friends.
And your bros should do the same.
That’s brotherhood.  Bros raising Bros.
AMENDMENT – If there’s a sexual or
emotional feminine interest, then it would
just look pitiful seeing a bunch of grown
ass men sharing pop corn and a drink at
the cinema. If there’s no female, please
have fun, with or without, bros keep it
real.

3 IF A BRO DIES WHILE LIFTING
WEIGHT, THE OTHER BRO SHALL ADD
MORE WEIGHT TO THE BAR BEFORE
DIALING FOR HELP-
That’s very interesting. Well unless
you’re wearing gloves and would be
wiping away your finger prints on that
last bar, you shouldn’t be dumb enough
to assume you won’t get caught.
Chances are by the time the autopsy
report comes back, they would say it
was the bar you added that killed him
and not that he died before you added
the bar. Jail time.
AMENDMENT – If your bro dies while
lifting weight, just dial 911 or the
necessary authorities.

4 A BRO NEVER USES ANY TYPE OF
VISUAL COMMUNICATION WHEN
TAKING A DUNK INCL. FACETIME,
SKYPE, OR VIDEO CALL
Why can’t he use visual comm. when
taking a dunk in the loo? Cos he doesn’t
want to bare his shame. Lol. Just
imagine face-timing or skyping with your
man and he does this strange face
squeeze cos the dunk got stuck in his
ass, lmao, that will be epic.
AMENDMENT – Yeah, keep your shame
guys, we don’t want to see them either.
Next please.

5 A BRO ALWAYS OFFERS HIS BRO A
DRINK WHEN GETTING ONE FOR
HIMSELF
That’s quite acceptable but only to the
extent where your other bro doesn’t
automatically expect you to “always”
pay.
AMENDMENT – A real bro will split or
contribute to the bill even if you were
the one just offering. Any bro that is in
the habit of always drinking for free from
you without ever offering you the same
favor or splitting the bill, ain’t really a
real g. Real g’s know what’s right.

6 IF YOU CATCH YOUR BRO’S GIRL
CHEATING YOU IMMEDIATELY TELL
YOUR BRO REGARDLESS OF WHT
DRAMA IT WOULD CREATE
This is only acceptable if it’s vice versa
but as with all things men, they have
their way, again. So if you’re a girl and
you have male mutual friends with your
boyfriend, be careful what you say and
do around them, cos dem folks are
snitches. They’ll snitch on your ass once
they have the chance. Spies.
A guy is only allowed to tell on his
friends girlfriend but if his friend was the
one cheating, he wouldn’t tell the chick
in question.
AMENDMENT – If this works for men
and they accept it wholeheartedly then
they shouldn’t get upset when the tables
are turned and they are left in the dark.
If his friends can cover for him if he’s
the one cheating, then the girls friends
too can cover for her. Same shit, served
on a different platter.

7   WHEN BROS HUG, THEY DO NOT
CLOSE THEIR EYES OR REST THEIR
HEAD ON THE OTHER BROS SHOULDER
Uh, how is this supposed to be a code?
Even a retard knows you don’t hug a
member of the same sex, close your
eyes and rest on their shoulder unless
they are family and you just need that
kind of emotional connection so bad
you’re willing to look weak to stay
strong.
AMENDMENT – No amendment. Guys
shouldn’t be doing that cos it would just
look awkward.

8  IF CHICK FIGHT BREAKS OUT, ALL
NEARBY BRO’S MUST BE ALERTED,
IMMEDIATELY. UNLESS BLOOD IS
DRAWN, BRO’S DO NOT BREAK UP
CHICK FIGHTS.
That’s typical. I’m not surprised. What
would they be looking for in a chick fight
besides torn garments and ripped
underwear. They always take the option
to see a naked ass first over any other
thing. Typical.
AMENDMENT – A real bro shouldn’t
condone violence at any level. Chicks
shouldn’t even be fighting around where
you are and if coincidentally it happens it
is your duty as a peaceful person to
settle the dispute amicably.

9 A BRO NEVER CATCHES A COLD.
WOMEN CATCH COLD, THEY GET “MAN
FLU”
Oh lawd, kill me already, what is “man
flu”? Just cos you are a bro doesn’t
necessarily mean you’re a doctor nor
does it give you the right to make up
names just to placate your ego. “Men
don’t get cold, they get man flu”.
Ridiculous.
AMENDMENT – Flu is flu, man, woman,
girl, guy, its the same. Rather than
bother about the name, focus on getting
better. Jeez.

10 A BRO ALWAYS GIVES HIS BRO
VALIDATION IF IT INCREASES HIS
CHANCE OF NAILING A CHICK, EVEN IF
ITS A LIE
I am not surprised. Would have been
shocked otherwise. Guys will lie through
their teeth and their friends will
shamelessly help if the end game is
fucking a chick. It’s a norm for guys.
AMENDMENT – What goes around
comes around. Don’t go mad when her
friends validate you just so you remain a
maga, a perpetual finance officer or a
customer care assistant, lol.
Guy codes are fun. It’s good to know
them. Not to be guided by them but
rather to know what they know.
Knowledge is power. Peace.